October 2, 1996 [This is email I sent to a friend of mine...] I had a rather exciting incident on the way home last night. I'm driving the IIa 88 down Portland, down just past Franklin, they're doing some construction and it drops the left lane. Of course, I'm in the left lane, so I start looking for a spot to merge over, and the cars pretty much do the every other car thing. I see a hole and slip over, and the guy who ends up behind me goes ballistic. He starts honking and shouting at me, then zooms over to come up on my right, still shouting. I yell "fuck you" back, because I always yell at traffic, and even though I had my windows closed he must have heard it. He *really* freaked then. I changed lanes back again and he got jammed in traffic a ways behind me at that point, but I can see him jockeying around in my mirror. At the light at 28th he finally got into the parking lane and he comes zooming up along side the Rover and stops just short of my door. (I wondered how many people *he* cut off jamming around in traffic to get back to me?). He gets out of his car, and I see he's a pretty well dressed guy, shirt & tie, looks like an office type, got his wife or girlfriend in the car with him, etc. He comes storming over to the window and starts screaming at me to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE TRUCK. Then he cranks up and slams his fist into my door window. SMACK! YOW! The window didn't break, much to my shock. Now about this time I'm kind of pissed and a little bit scared, thinking what am I going to do if this guy decides to open my door. Fortunately, I have my shades on so he can't see my eyes... Actually, I was thinking more about him doing damage to my truck than anything, since getting money out of this dork would be impossible, and also wouldn't it be my luck since I just ordered a piece of glass *yesterday afternoon* for the rear. Then, still shouting and likely more pissed that he didn't break it the first time, he cranks up and punches my window *again*, harder than the first time. WHAM! Again, it didn't break :-) All the while he's yelling for me to "BE A MAN" - GET OUT OF THE TRUCK. Yeah? Fuck that, buddy! All this time quite a number of people are enjoying this little tirade from the comfort of their own cars. This is crowded, rush hour, city traffic and I'm boggled that this is actually happening. Finally, the light changed, and I drove off, leaving him standing on the shoulder. I was worried about him following me home - I'm not exactly inconspicuous in traffic. But he didn't, and I never did see his plate number. And I never said a word to him, just stared at him through the window. I figured my Karate instructor would have approved. If he would have hauled (or tried to) me out of the truck I would have had other decisions to make, but as it was, I just let it roll. Not that I wasn't scared. I was. But he didn't force me to do anything so I didn't. On the way home, I was thinking two things: First, I felt really sorry for the girl who was in the car. To have a relationship with someone who gets that cranked up over traffic, god, imagine if she forgot something at the grocery store or spilled a glass of milk. :-( The second thing was that for all his tough guy, macho, intimidation bullshit, it was him that spent the evening with his hand in a bowl full of ice, not me. I hope he fucking broke it. :-) Tim "You just don't fuck with another man's car. Right, Lance?" |