December 1997 Bushes? Small animals? Were those there when I pulled over? Where were the cars? Where was the ROAD? Turning about, I saw a rutted, muddy dirt track curving away into dense rain forest. I thought I must have hit my head on the hood after being startled by a neighborhood cat or something. But my head didn't hurt - there was no pain or bumps. I was feeling very confused and not slightly out of sorts. The truck was the only thing that seemed right, so I began to focus on its problems, assuring myself that once I was able to get moving I could figure out where the city went.I ducked under the bonnet, some what comforted by the fact that all there seemed familiar, the clicking of the engine block as it cooled, the smell of that small radiator leak and ever-present 90wt. Not finding any obvious broken wires or connections, I began to wiggle possible suspects and took a look at the fuses. The fuses seemed good, so I though maybe a bump or pot hole maybe just worked them loose. Wait.. This wire, from the generator! Its touching the exhaust manifold. The hot metal of the manifold must have melted the plastic coating and shorted when it contacted the copper. I've run before with out the generator, so I'll just disconnect it... There. I extracted myself again from the engine compartment to go check for power in the cab, sweat dripping on my face, unnerved to find that, no, the rainforest hadn't gone away, but if anything had grown a little deeper, a little darker, a little stranger. And why was it getting so HOT? I climbed into the cab, turned the key, and - lights! There was power. Relief! Maybe I could get moving and figure out just what the hell was *really* happening. I reached down and pushed the started button, then POP! Everything when out again. DamnDamnDamn! I sat behind the wheel and fumed for a few minutes, trying to extract some reason for this to be happening. Trying to focus on the one problem that would seem to have a logical explanation - faulty British electricals, and not the increasing unease I was feeling about the surroundings. Then, slipping through the sliding glass window of my door, very softly like a stirring of the wind, I began to hear it. First, just on the edge of my perception, then as I concentrated I began to focus on it much more distinctly - the drums. Steady, rhythmic, deep drums straight out of some Indiana Jones fantasy. Just what in the HELL WAS GOING ON HERE! WHERE THE HELL AM I? AND WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HOT? Ok, get a grip, I told myself. Panicking is not a good idea right now. I began to wonder if the problem with the truck was really with the truck or what ever forces were at work on the rest of the world. Maybe because it was the only thing I could do to save my sanity, I decided that the problem with the truck was in fact real, and the rest of this some strange apparition that would go away. Ok, Tim, THINK! This is the simplest vehicle on whatever planet I'm on, I must be able to find the problem and GET MOVING. Residing to myself that I wasn't going to find the exact cause of the problem right there, I began to think of alternative schemes that would get me moving. After reviewing what I new of the current electrical situation (not much), I recalled stories of other Rover owners hot wiring their trucks with a lead right from the battery to the coil. This would bypass 90% of the electrical circuit, including the entire dash. Well, since the dash had no power, I thought the short must be before the dash anyway. I pushed out of the cab and struggled through the underbrush to the rear door, where I fetched my box of electrical junk (something every Rover owner carries in the back) and fished out a long, green wire with alligator clips on the ends. The drums were getting louder now, and the forest was getting darker, sounds were getting closer. I was really kind of shaking now. What the hell am I going to blow up by doing this? If I blow the coil, that's IT. Game over. I grabbed a flash light, too, both so I could see in the enclosing darkness, and because its one of those really long ones with lots of batteries - it felt good in my hand. Under the bonnet again. Now... Which sides to hook the wire? Ok, hot off the battery. Is this wire going to be able to take it? Well, I had no other options so I clamped in on the terminal bolt. Then it slipped off the bolt. Shit. The clip was too small and it barely fits on this bolt. Ok, there, I got it to stay. Were those drums getting louder? Other end to the coil - input side. Ooh, wire just made it all the way from the battery. Definitely louder now. Any smoke? Anything smell like its burning? No? I moved back to the cab. Lights on the dash! The key isn't in, but who cares? There is power! I scrambled back and closed the hood, got back into the cab, held my breath and pushed the starter button. Vrrooooooom! The motor came to life! A couple of revs on the gas, things seem to be holding, lights on, in gear and I'm moving! Drums are still loud in the cab, I can hear them over the motor. But I am pumped because I'm moving - but for how long. And will the wire stay on the battery terminal? Worry about this if necessary but not while I'm driving. The road, if it could be called that, that a rut of massive holes and rocks. With every bone jarring bump I feared the wire popping loose. The trees and branches seemed to be reaching for the cab to blind me. The road was alternatly blocked and free, making shifting and steering difficult at best. I was forced to stop because a fallen limb blocked the track - I was afraid to leave the truck but with no alternative. I struggled to move the rotting trunk from the path, but finally managed it, sweat soaked and mud logged. I hopped back in the cab, but when I started moving again POP! The power went out again and the motor died. In the eerie quite without the motor the drums were more powerful than before. Beginning to feel like my wits were on there way to some other place without me, I raced in a frightened stupor to reconnect the wire to the battery. Finding the wire and reclipping it, I slammed the bonnet just as a dagger swished out of the darkness and thwacked itself into a nearby tree. As panic began to finally over take me in this strange darkness, I managed to get back in the cab and get the motor started, all with no help at all from a brain busy conjuring up images of the things in the woods. Struggling to keep the Rover upright, I bounced and thrashed my way down the track until out of the corner of my eye I spotted a small cave. Hoping to gain some measure of protection from the opening, I heaved on the steering wheel and crashed the truck headlong through the dense brush into the mouth of the cave and into the complete darkness. Were the drums actually a little fainter now? Flashlight in hand, I struggled out of the cab and around to the front, thinking only of finding a place to hide, and pulled the wire from the battery, killing the motor. Silence. Silence? No more drums, and it was cold! My eyes began to adjust to the darkness, and I looked around. I was in my garage.
[While the core of this story is true, some detail has been added to make the adventure a little more interesting to the casual reader, and to exercise my Calvin-like imagination... -tjh] |